Friendships are Unnecessary, Like Philosophy... Like Art


~~At first it seemed like the two of them had a lot in common. They shared the same interests---cheer leading, dancing, boys, Lifetime, school, clothes, boys. But what drew them in were the secrets they held so tightly; the ones no one knew about. Undisclosed realities that only had a purpose in their alternate lives. Secrets that were easy to keep from others until they met each other. ~~
The beginning of a friendship between best friends usually starts different from all the others. There’s something unique that happens. The foundation is made of concrete, thorns, seashells and glitter---the basis of the bond is unexplainable.
~~There was nothing they didn’t go through hand-in-hand. You think you're pregnant? Which test, First Response or Equate? You and your mom just fought? You can stay with me. Is someone trying to fight you? Hold on, let me put my things down. Fights between these two were few and far between, but each fight had pulled them closer than before. Eventually, distance due to college took a toll on the friendship, but whenever there were home visits, nothing had reallychanged.~~
Because of history, family ties, mutual friendships, it is easier to avoid or dismiss ill feelings. It is easier to give an excuse for people called friends. For the thought of them not being there is hard to conceive. Sometimes it’s easier to place blame on yourself for being the problem, the one out of whack, the one being difficult, just so the other person can stay as dear to you as the day you met.
~~As one grows so does the other. Boyfriends come and go. Jobs are gained and lost. Residents change. New cars are bought. As their life propels forward, their friendship does not. It is hard for them to make time for each other. Uncomfortable feelings arise when phone calls aren’t returned or promises aren’t kept. One starts to feel like she can’t talk to the other, at least not the way she used to. Automatically she blames herself for not being as agreeable or available as she could. She beats herself up for not always saying or doing the right thing. The truth was they were no longer best friends, but she didn’t want to admit it. She’d rather have things a complete mess than to believe that. She fought with that reality over and over until she was left hurt, embarrassed, confused, offended, resentful and eventually numb. ~~
No matter how hard you try to overlook it, the truth always reveals itself even if it has to knock you out to do it. Accepting the right to feel the way you do without diminishing your emotions for others is what allows a friendship to grow and blossom.
~~Eventually admitting that she was just a bad friend had to said. There it was. Something that simple took nearly a year to admit.  Although it wasn’t always like that, it had been a long time since she was what a friend should be. You talk about being bridesmaids and your children being best friends for so long, you lose sight of what friendship truly is: loving, understanding, considerate, honest, encouraging, supportive, and accepting of who you are. Embracing that certain friendships aren’t meant to last forever has brought the kind of connections that are effortless, enjoyable, authentic and comforting. Each and every relationship we build is for growth. Once we’re no longer growing that friend's immediate presence is no longer needed. We are meant to change and flourish...nothing in our world is meant to stay the same, especially pain. ~~