It can be really hard to get out of the mud once you’re in it. You never want to go there but one bad thing happens, then another, and another and guess where you find yourself: isolated, tense, emotional, uncomfortable, stressed and frustrated. You want so badly to get out of your funk but it feels damn near impossible. You’ve taken some time alone, worked out, ate your favorite meals, slept (A LOT), maybe even let out a good cry. Still, it is clear you aren’t yourself.
This happened to me recently. I got into the worst disagreement with someone I care about and it snowballed out of control. Each day the conflict grew bigger, and I grew more upset. In this state of mind it’s truly difficult to be productive, playful, and positive. There’s no way to concentrate when something bigger is nagging at you day in and day out. But what did I do, I pushed on anyway. Trying to find peace in an unpeaceful state of mind got me no where. After a couple days, something finally came to mind that I’ve heard once before:
Clarity comes from engagement, not from thought.
Tossing the same negative thoughts, and off the wall assumptions over and over in your head will rarely solve your problems. Reaching out to others who have more experience, may have dealt with a similar situation, talking to someone you trust to give good feedback, as well as talking to those who it involves, can give you that peace of mind you’re reaching for but can’t find on your own.
When I reached out to others I got a combination of advice, support, and instructions lol. Although those tidbits were helpful, that’s not what I finally left with. I left with the feeling of clarity on what I wanted and needed to do.
I want to remind you that the success we all long for, no matter what it looks like- tons of money, cars, traveling, fame, a business, climbing the corporate ladder, none of that will feel like much if the relationships and friendships in our lives aren’t where they need to be. Before we wanted “success,” we came out the womb wanting love, support, and attention. These basic human needs have never left us and never will. Nurture the relationships that matter most and everything else that you do won’t feel so forced.