It can pretty difficult being the bigger person. When someone rights you off, insults you or tries to minimize you, all you think about is how dare they have audacity to come at you in such a manner.
It can catch you completely off guard. You may have thought the relationship had more respect. You may have thought the person wouldn't say or do something trying to intentionally fluster you.
It's so easy to give them a taste of their own medicine. It's easy to take fate in your owns hands and give them what they deserve.
Overall I believe I'm a kind person. I don't make many enemies. I'm usually the cup of tea that everyone enjoys. So when I get tension from others it feels odd. My analytical Virgo nature kicks in, and I try to figure out where the hostility is coming from.
No matter what I come up with, my assumptions never get me anywhere.
Trying to determine the reason behind the actions of others is draining. You'll spend time and energy in vain because,
What people reflect has nothing to do with you.
Even Mother Teresa is hated on my someone somewhere. All you can do is determine how you react. I've learned it catches people by surprise when you don't react how they expect you to. When something is not the norm it shocks people.
As I get older, I learn a lot from the different relationships in my life. It can be a battle reverting back to the person you used to be and the person you are trying to become.
Maturity doesn't happen at the same time for everyone. There must be a standard to do certain things. 16 to drive, 18 to go to the army, 21 to drink. But age is not what determines maturity. I've met many "adults" who do the same thing were doing in high school. Maturity comes from life experiences that provoke change. Just because someone has been on Earth longer, doesn't mean they've been though life altering events that encouraged them to grow.
Being the bigger person is not easy but you're not doing it for the other person-- you're doing it for you. You are working to become better. You are reflecting on your life and making the necessary changes to have the life you desire, to be the person you're meant to be, and to live a life of peace, authenticty, personal satisfaction, happiness and most of all love.
Situations will come your way to get you to that place. It's up to you to recognize them and grow from each lesson. Don't allow awkward and uncomfortable conversations to stop you. Don't give into doing what is expected of you because it's easier. Rise above. Be stronger than the person you used to be. Feel good about being greater than pettiness, drama, and negativity. The more you give off what you want, the more you receive what you need.
Feel free, Mel