I've always been tight with my money. I'm a frugal person and not ashamed to admit it. I save, save, and save some more. Not for anything inparticular, more like a rainy day fund. But one day I was reading this post from one of my favorite blogs and it dawned on me that I get nervous to spend money on myself? Why is that? It's my money. I've earned it. Who else should it be spent on?
How are you supposed to feel free when every morning you walk into work it feels like you've stepped into a cage? How do you gain peace of mind when your manager is down your throat, and the very thought of work makes you anxious? There are days that your job feels like a punishment.
You ask yourself: How did I end up here?
They say when you know better you should do better. People take in valuable information everyday and choose not to apply it. Why is that? Is it forgetfullness, laziness, or being too comfortable? I am always reading or watching something that is going to teach me something about anything. But what's the point of all this knowledge if it's not applied anywhere? Is it my goal to become a walking library?! Absolutely not.
I sleep an average of 4 hours a day. The only time I’m alone is in the shower. My breasts are now the size of cantaloupes because they're supplying an all-you-can-eat buffet to a newborn. If you get close, I always faintly smell like baby’s breath (aka milk). My biceps are always slightly sore because I carry another human being between my bosom majority of the day. Is it crazy to say that through what appears to be my misery, I’m the happiest I have ever been?
This is a bit odd for me to grasp. So many less desirable things are now part of my life yet I am filled with appreciation, joy, and excitement. After pondering on this fact, it dawns on me that purpose is what has given me this outlook.
Purpose has the power to drive you and bring out the best in you.
Purpose makes you hopeful, causes you to find solutions, makes you think about life in a way you have not previously.
When we are trying to succeed at anything in life there has to be something that pulls us to do the hard, messy, disgusting, disturbing, and exhausting things. We must look past what is unfolding in the present and see the future is brighter, greater, and near. Purpose has the power to change our mentality and once that is done, there is nothing that can hold us back from our desires.
As a new mom I had no idea how a child would impact my life. I thought that I could have my same life and I would maneuver him where need be. Silly me. Since the day he stepped foot out my uterus, my purpose has strengthened, expanded, and transformed. When you find your purpose, an authentic reason for doing what you need to do in this life, challenges will be seen as opportunities, setbacks will turn into stepping stools, changes will bring a sense of sweet novelty to your mundane routine. People can swear their circumstances are what holds them back. The truth is, a poor attitude keeps you defeated, stagnant, and in despair. Changing the way you view your circumstances allows you to persevere until you reach the other side because a brighter day is due to come – it always does.
Don’t allow the aches and pains of growth to defeat you. Understand the purpose and power behind the pain. Understand this transformation will catapult you to a better tomorrow. Know that this mentality will only set you free.
You can have this amazing life, with great friendships, a relationship you’re proud to be in, a career that excites you, and much more. It is true you can have all you have ever wanted, but to get there you must go through challenges and obstacles that feel as if they may kill you. There are a combination of experiences that will come your way that is meant to try and break you, expose you, shift you, and tear you down. These are no accidents. The truth is, you cannot stumble upon the life you aspire to have—you must go after it. Parents were never intended to give it to you. Your job is not there to build it for you. Your significant other is not meant to reveal it to you. You, and only you, can create it for yourself. As I make my way each day to manage my life as I aspire for dream number one, two and three, it becomes clearer that the things I choose to do and not do, create my tomorrow. It does not matter if I’m at odds with a friend, struggling on my job, or simply not in the mood to do anything productive. It does not matter, but it will show. All the excuses I give myself and all the conversations I have with my alternate personality can only disguise the reality of my situation for so long. The results of how you choose to deal with the things that aren’t going quite right will show itself over and over again, and that is fact.
You cannot protect yourself from sadness, without protecting yourself from happiness,
Johnathan Safran Foer
Does this mean it is better to stay on the side of caution where things are predictable, life is mundane, risks are never made, fights are never fought while time creeps by? Or is it better to take that step into the jungle and discover all the things you have been looking for? When things are unbearable you must remind yourself that the road to freedom was not meant to be smooth but some things are just worth fighting for.
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