The other day something happened that I was not ready for. I couldn’t plan for it. There was no way I could've prepared for what I was about to experience. I’ve been breastfeeding my son now for 7 months. At this point I pump majority of the time and nurse at least once per day. One night I went to nurse IV before bed like I usually do, and he denied me...
We are in a day and age when salacious news trumps truth and positivity. The Love and Hip Hop series on VH1 is the most watched tv show not because they're curing Aids or helping the needy. There's more drama in one episode than an entire senior year in high school. The characters are willing to entertain by any means necessary in order to stay relevant instead of living a life of truth and positivity. People are so scared to find their own voice, live their truth,
How many of you thought you would have a corner office overlooking the city with great big windows by the age of 30? How many were under the impression that a few years after college there would be a big desk with your name on it, a plush leather chair whereyou took calls, cancelled calls, and made enough money for a new car, a home of your own, and plenty of spending cash for trips and clothes?
Jamaica, to say there are no words to describe you wouldn't be fair. To say that the five days I spent with you were unfathomable would not justify the bliss you brought to my life. The week I spent in Jamaica about a year ago, gave me a sense of peace, an easy, wonderful feeling that moved through my mind and within my heart. Removing myself from people, environments, and circumstances that support unhealthy habits, transformed my happiness into something I didn't know existed.
I've learned happiness is a decision, and once you make that decision there is a process to find that happiness. A process that begins with elimination.
Eliminate all thoughts that do not fuel you for the better.
There have been times I get a kick out of fueling my anger. I can be so abrasive, cold, and downright belligerent when my feelings are hurt. It comes in a flash, and I am no longer that sweet, silly jellybean. I'm more like that black bitter jellybean that you thought was grape but now you are sadly mistaken. Giving into those hurtful thoughts and expressing it in a way that is harmful to myself and those around me does only one thing, decrease my happiness.
It is best to take a step back and figure out what you're so damn angry about.
Men do this best if you ask me. Because they struggle dealing with their emotions, when emotions do flare up, men step aside and find a way to get back to ground zero. They get into a place where they can be logical again. Females on the other hand are used to emotions and don't care when it comes up or how it gets out. Whatever emotion we feel, those around us will feel it too. (We should wear a caution sign)
Eliminate contact with people who don't bring out the best parts of you
As a teenager I used to get soooo upset at my father. Whenever we spoke, it had to end with heads getting chopped off and spleens ripped out. Let the best fighter win. It was always him. I used to say 'I'm not like this around anyone else! Only around you!' Now, I'm positive my raging hormones had everything to do with my poor communication skills with my father back then. Plus, what teenager doesn't hate their parents. Like any parent-teenager relationship, there are people in your life who simply don't bring out the best in you. Instead, they bring out the worst.
Don't constantly use energy to fight this person day in and day out. Let them go, so you can make room for people who give you energy instead of drain it.
Eliminate situations that frustrate you or turn them around
Before I went to Jamaica, I was overly stressed due to work. There wasn't a day that something didn't piss me off. (I'm in the process of writing a book called Korporate Will Kill You) After I came back from Jamaica, my job didn't affect me quite the same. I made a decision to pursue life coaching and get certified. My stressful job was now funding my dream job.
Sometimes you can't eliminate the situation you’re in. Although, you can always turn your trials into triumphs, but you must be open to doing so.
After elimination is complete, the process on finding happiness can begin.
The things you go looking for, you are bound to find.
Once you declare your happiness and eliminate your unhappiness, you must look and produce your happy-go-lucky-ness until it is easy to recognize.
Let go of the ideas about what should make you happy. Let go of the idea that more money, more acknowledgement, more friends, more IG fame, more opportunities to sleep, a promotion, or brand new new car will bring about happiness, because it won't.
Yes it will feel good momentarily to acquire these things, but you will be surprised by how quickly that pleasurable high will fade.
With the amount of suicides that have happened by the hands of those with money, fame, and influence, it's apparent that happiness is derived from something on a deeper level.
We have been taught that happiness will come from all the crap we can stuff into our lives: clothes, cars, climbing the corporate ladder, clinging onto things that we will eventually lose.
Truth be told, happiness comes from the experiences we have, from those we love, the ability to grow, learn and change.
It's all about perspective no matter where you are. You must choose to see beauty in the situation you are in.
In Jamaica there was no hot water, no cable, and absolutely no air conditioning in 100 degree weather, but I was surrounded by the bluest ocean, around loving family, and eating the purest food. There was absolutely nothing not to be happy about.