When you're in the midst of making a change in your life-- whether it's trying to improve yourself, build a business, create a lifestyle that's not surrounded by dysfunction, there will be people that will try to distract you from your goal. Mind you, they are not doing it intentionally. You're the one that's making the change. You're the one that's disrupting the flow by altering the dynamics of the relationship.
It's a beautiful day. You woke up before your alarm, had a good breakfast, got to work on time. You know that without a doubt today is going to be lovely day. Then your coworker comes over complaining about work before work has even started. You're thinking to yourself, is she serious? She's mad already? Has she even turned on her computer yet? You listen and nod your head as she goes on an on about the same thing she complained about yesterday. This is not how you wanted to start your morning but you feel bad ignoring her so you let her vent. Twenty minutes later you're semi annoyed, drained and no longer have that pep in your step.
Moments like this can really throw off what was supposed to be a great day. It is really tough recovering from a negative conversation.
Misery loves company.
You've heard it before and you'll hear it again, because truth doesn't fade. Negative people want to be heard, but more than anything, they want to rally up negativity within others so they can feel good about being so miserable. They want to justify their self sabotaging thoughts and negative attitudes, so they seek for validation anywhere they can get it.
Now at one point or another, we have all been in a negative space and dumped negative energy onto anyone who would listen. The older I got, the more experienced I became, the more I understood the power of words. The words we think and say develop into our physical world.
Think of words like clay. It starts out as a blob, just a single mass with no meaning. Then you begin to twist, turn and combine this clay together. Next thing you realize, you have created something you can recognize, describe, and observe.
Words are like that. They start out as simple definitions and don't start to take on meaning until they are attached to other words that give it meaning. This meaning is given feelings, and those feelings turn into beliefs. Beliefs are part of the foundation we use to determine how we act in any given situation. One action after another creates our experiences, therefore creates our lives. And this all started out with a single word.
The power of words have started revolutions, built empires, and enslaved massive groups of people.
If you don't want others dumping negativity onto your day use words to maintain your power. Use words to maintain your happiness.
Offer help- sometimes complaining is a cry for help. That person will appreciate your assistance and you'll feel good about being a solution to someone's problem.
Be a listening ear- truly listening to someone and saying 'that sucks' or 'how awful' can make them feel heard. Once they feel heard the sooner they will want to talk about something else.
Change the subject to something lighter or more positive - a switch of subjects could be exactly what the person needs. Help them forget about their worries for a bit and focus on something that you both can enjoy- like puppies or chocolate chip cookies from Subway.
Be honest- there is nothing wrong with telling someone you're having a good day and you don't want to mess it up with negativity, can you talk about something else. People fear being honest because of how the receiving person may react and it may hurt their feelings. Instead you're left hurt while the other person feels relieved.
Don't feel guilty about doing what's right for you. You cannot serve anyone else if you don't have what you need and you need your sanity! You need to be stessfree, mentally clear and emotionally sound to deal with all the situations that are going on in your own life. Don't give others the permission to take away the fuel you need in order to make your day better. It's not selfish, it's self preservation.